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[13 Feb 2006|01:44pm] |
I am RIT's newest addition to the Industrial Design program!
...woot woot!
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[30 Jan 2006|10:38pm] |
I feel a bit better.
A lot better, actually.
Last week was a disaster, and I wasn't prepared for it.
But I got some work done today, and it feels good.
I'm developing a pretty heavy passion for printmaking.
If I could spend all day in that studio, I'd be one seriously happy camper.
I'd love to spend my days in studios instead of classrooms...
But I guess I have to get some kind of a general education if I'm going to be in college at all.
Blast.
It'll be good when I can graduate and get a job and be able to support my personal studies.
I want to paint, and print, and weld, and make music.
Someday, man.
Someday.
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[21 Jan 2006|01:01am] |
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everything feels wrong today.
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[12 Jan 2006|05:29pm] |
wow.
after being home for so long, and actually doing things, it feels so strange to be sitting in class.
I want to be out doing, making, seeing. Not sitting in class.
College is supposed to be the best time of your life, but it feels so small.
SO small.
I need to be making something of myself, instead of getting grades.
But that's life.
I guess there comes a time for everything, eventually.
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[06 Jan 2006|09:41pm] |
Yeah.
Almost time to go back to ROC.
Tomorrow is my last day home...
We're gonna be by the pussycat lounge tomorrow night for some music video shoot.
For some band I've never heard of.
Which sounds like an adventure.
Either way, I got my cello fixed.
And new strings.
Which is amazingly cool.
The thing was busted in more ways than one.
But I digress.
Happy Friday.
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[21 Dec 2005|05:49pm] |
I finally got the New Deal tickets.
They're sold out online, and I thought we weren't gonna get them for New Year's Eve, but it's on!
Hell yeah.
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[20 Dec 2005|01:50am] |
I'm hoooome.
yessir...
back in Monroe.
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[12 Dec 2005|02:48am] |
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things are ok.
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[26 Nov 2005|06:46am] |
the Shock Jock
(57% dark, 50% spontaneous, 52% vulgar) | your humor style:
VULGAR | SPONTANEOUS | DARK
Your sense of humor is off-the-cuff and kind of gross. Is it is also
sinister, cynical, and vaguely threatening to the purer folks of this
world. You probably get off on that. You would cut a greasy fart, then blame it on your mom, and then just shrug when someone pointed out that she's dead.
Yours is hands-down the most outrageous sense of humor; you like things
trangressive and hardcore. It's highly likely (a) you have no limits (b) you have no scruples and (c) you have no job. Ironically, it's your type of humor that can make the biggest bucks in show business.
PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Howard Stern - Adam Sandler - Roseanne Barr
The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -
If you're interested, try my latest:
The Terrorism Test
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My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 64% on darkness | | You scored higher than 62% on spontaneity | | You scored higher than 79% on vulgarity |
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[20 Nov 2005|06:55pm] |
yeahhhhhh.
spleh.
tired.
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[13 Nov 2005|03:26pm] |
Argh.
I can't fucking win.
I went to Reporter today to try and get my paycheck...
Didn't get the paycheck, ended up at screenings.
Saw Dave, tried to have a smoke with him.
Apparently, he doesn't want to see me around anymore.
He's angry with me.
Maybe I have been a little insensitive, but I'm just doing what I need to get by.
I can't feel responsible anymore for the hearts of people who think they're in love with me.
They have no idea what love is.
These people are not in love.
They're trying to find some peace of mind in someone crazier than they are,
and apparently, that's "love".
I know love, and it's a fickle fucking creature.
Real love lets you have space when you need it.
I tried to give him space.
He came to me, and now he's angry again.
I just can't can't can't win.
You ever see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?
Well, sometimes I feel like Kate Winslet.
Running through falling houses and trains and bookstores trying to fill a void.
I want to be friends.
Maybe it just doesn't work like that, and never will.
I wish someone would come with all the answers.
But life isn't like that.
None of us really know what we're doing.
It's survival.
And maybe it's selfish.
But I've been in this place too many times where I've just
hurt people who thought they were in love.
There's only so much responsibility you can take for another's sanity before it weighs like a boulder on your own.
I spent too many years trying to fix other peoples' problems.
It's time to take care of my own.
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[07 Nov 2005|05:58am] |
Dear Diary,
He kissed me tonight.
I'm ecstatic, but conflicted.
Is this what I want, or am I settling?
He makes me feel good.
And he's smart.
And he's mature and very real-world.
But there's another I've been thinking about.
I don't know what to do.
Maybe I'll rent some porn and train myself to be completely self-sufficient so that I don't have to think about these things all the time.
Or... I'll let this play out and see where it goes.
What a crazy week I have behind and ahead of me.
Fondly,
Sara
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[06 Nov 2005|02:51am] |
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yoooo!
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[24 Oct 2005|05:11pm] |
I'm in a really bad place right now.
Broke up with Dave again last night, and I'm sitting an wondering if I did the right thing.
He needs more than I can give him, and I can't handle hurting him anymore.
I love him so much, but I don't think I can commit the rest of my life to him yet.
And I know that's what he wants.
But I'm only 19, and have so much to do.
I wish he wanted to be my friend, but I know that doesn't come easily.
Why is it that all my relationships end up with me fucking up people's heads?
I try so hard not to.
I'm kind of a fuck-up and I hurt people without meaning to.
I just need space sometimes.
But not too much space.
I'm going to be really lonely here in Riverknoll for a while.
My schedule is fucked up too.
It just seems like more and more, things are rolling downhill.
I'm already going to be here for an extra year, and haven't told my parents.
I wish I knew what I wanted.
So I could go get it.
Fuck.
Maybe I should transfer.
But I feel like that'd be running away.
RIT just makes things so difficult for anybody who wants to switch credits or programs.
It's kind of ridiculous.
So I'm clearing my head.
I'm taking a week and getting my life in order.
Maybe I'll know what to do then.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
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[20 Oct 2005|06:02pm] |
SO.
Who's doing what this Halloween?
Something fun HAS to be happening that night.
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[05 Oct 2005|05:40pm] |
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NEW MEDIA DESIGN SUCKS.
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| So much for a done deal. |
[21 Sep 2005|08:12am] |
I changed my mind, and went over to Colony last night crying my eyes out. I missed being held, and cuddled, and loved, and have realized that Dave loves me more than anyone else ever could. I need that, I think.
So things are cool now.
I was wrong, but I made it right.
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[20 Sep 2005|05:36pm] |
So Dave and I are a done deal. I love him with all my heart, but just wasn't in love anymore... We're two souls that are just way too different to work the way it was going. I wish he'd forgive me enough to be my friend. Because Dave was one of the best friends a girl could have, and I'm going to miss that.
I'm an asshole for hurting him.
It's gonna be lonely in my neck of the woods for a while.
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saragetyourgun's journal